two weeks ago I was preparing lunch, and being the cooking whiz that i am (note my sarcasm), i was simultaneously cooking spaghetti, heating up soup, and frying a steak. i must not have known my own super strength because when I put the steak in the smoking hot oil (the goal was to flambé it), the oil splattered like crazy and practically flambéd my wrist instead of the meat. whoops. i burned the FUCK out of my wrist and the base of my thumb -- 2nd degree. could have been worse, i suppose, but OUCH!! david walked into the kitchen and found me crying like a baby ... and still cooking. i, being an idiot, decided the damage was already done to my wrist, so why screw with lunch too? i finished the steak and then tended to the burn. note to self: don't be so stupid. anyways, two weeks, several yards of gauze and a few pain pills later, it's healing nicely. it still looks rather ghastly but it'll heal up without much scarring, i think. sheeeesh.

meanwhile, things have been heating up here lately in terms of work -- business has been busy, david's been über-stressed with several other work-related projects that he's gotten roped into doing, and my tourism classes have been alternately boring, interesting and stressful. vaughn is here in lima!! it is so lovely to have him around. also, my rovery MARISSA is going to visit me!!! YAAAAAY!!! i'm so excited to see her and show her around my home here!

the people-watcher in me has been thinking lately about college student culture. in the states, in my experience, "going to college" often means "going AWAY to college". you fly the coop, you move out of your parents' home, you go get completely immersed in studying and socializing. even if you're not living on campus, you are likely to be sharing an apartment with friends. after that, it's usually expected, however unrealistically, that you'll soon be supporting yourself, launching whatever fabulous career you were supposedly trained for. there's a lot of pressure, from society, professors, parents, and students themselves to get ahead as quickly as possible. if you aren't self-sufficient or going places with your career, you might be looked down on.

in lima, I see a different sort of culture for college students. one, colleges here have no dorms. you don't live on campus. you generally stay at home with your parents, even long after graduating college. why move out when it's so much simpler to stay at home? it's just the way things go. that means there's less pressure to become self-sufficient in that same way, less pressure to hurry up and figure out your career and get it off the ground. this is cool, that college students seem to have more of a support system in place for them. they can take their time figuring things out. it's normal for people to take breaks in the middle and finish getting their diploma later. the flip side is a lack of privacy. you are living under your parents' roof, you are dependent on them, and that can be stressful for young adult couples. on a different note, there's less pressure to party like crazy, since the drinking age is 18. it's just not a big deal to go out or buy a drink, any teenager can buy a beer. then again, without dorms to mess around in, ya gotta go SOMEWHERE, so all the bars in the city are chock full of hipster college students looking for a place to kick back.

i don't know if this is an interesting topic to anyone else. but i would like to keep thinking about "adolescence" and/or "becoming an adult" and how it differs from place to place depending on what the rules are for that rite of passage (in this case, going to college).

i think i'm really growing obsessed with food. what can i say? it runs my life. i spend most of my time in the kitchen, and when i'm not cooking or baking, i'm eating or thinking about what to make or eat next.

In gym class as a child, I could never do a cartwheel. Somersault, sure! but cartwheel? Nahhh. I couldn't be bothered. I did my little "round-offs" and that was that, I never pushed myself to try. and once i got to be a teenager/adult, I assumed I missed the cartwheel boat and was therefore too old to train myself to do that sort of thing.

Somehow, it's become very important to me to get over it and finally just be able to DO it. You might say I've become a little obsessed. It was my new year's resolution this year to train myself to do a real cartwheel. On new year's on the beach, I practiced and practiced, and the only results were a headache and a lot of sand stuck in places it should never go. I just couldn't get it, I couldn't even imagine it.

Recently, I've been practicing in dance class, very gradually. Pachi seems to realize it's a personal mission for me, and that I seem to be battling a mental block against making my body comprehend the simple mechanics of the movement. Well, she's been giving us all cartwheel-practice-exercises, and you know what? I think I'm starting to get it! Last night was the first time I felt something click, I felt my body doing something right, like things were aligned properly in my arms and torso, and I wasn't hurried or rushed. Now if I just stretch my legs up, I'll get it. Why is it so hard for me? I dunno. But I know I CAN do it. There's no reason why I can't, even though I'm not longer young and bouncy and made of cartilage. I'll do it yet, dammit. And I promise I won't break myself trying. Before the year is out, I swear, I will be doing full joyous cartwheels on a beach or grassy patch somewhere.

in comes the fog, the harbinger of winter. thick velvety white clouds that roll and curl over and around buildings, pouring into the streets, creeping past windows. with it comes a damp chill, a desire for hot tea and sweaters and hunkering. goodbye to the scent of jasmine lingering in the air on warm summer nights.

Food for thought: recently, it was announced that all male cops would be removed from traffic duty in Lima, since they were too corrupt to handle it responsibly, always asking for bribes. from now on, traffic cops are exclusively female. I ask myself: what happened to all those corrupt male officers? what post do they occupy now?

Yesterday I was at the shop with our barista Sol and waiter Victor. Around midday, two uniformed men come to visit from the Sanitation Department. Gulp! We knew this was coming, but hadn't yet fulfilled all of the requirements (we thought we had a little more time). I panicked inside but tried to keep it cool. As the two man quickly discovered, none of us had our "carné de sanidad" -- like a sanitation ID card that all workers in the food industry are supposed to have. (we are in the process of getting them but didn't have them yet, just to clarify.) Given our 9 workers, this would tally up to a very, very large fine that would rain down upon us as penalty. The two guys continued on with the inspection, asking to see the bathroom and finally the kitchen. Everything seemed in order except for the damn cards.

At this point, the men split -- one asks to use the bathroom, and the other keeps me behind in the kitchen, which is the only relatively isolated spot in the whole shop. He tells me in a low voice that, just between him and I, I really should talk to his "superior" (the guy in the bathroom, I presume) and tell him frankly that I want to resolve this situation here and now, because it would be a shame for us to get the fine, since it's like a black mark on our business resume forever and ever. Uh-huh. The other guy comes back, expectantly, and I start parroting a little bit -- "I'm really sorry, sir, we really are in the process of getting the cards, but I understand we are not complying with regulations by not having them already. how can we resolve this?" and the guys look at each other and tell me that they receive a 20% commission on all of these fines they dole out. If I just give them the equivalent of their commission, they'll forget about actually giving us the fine. They do a lot of leaning in, whispering, and asking me if I understand, as if they are giving me super special treatment. (by this point, I'm feeling nauseous and completely grossed out by the situation) I tell them frankly that I can't and won't take any such action without consulting my partner first, and can't they come back in 3 hours so we can all discuss it together? They start getting exasperated with me, as I pretend I understand less than I actually do (the ol' wide-eyed gringa trick, I suppose).

Finally they give me the ultimatum: I give them their commission now and we part "as friends", or else... and I look at them, gulp, and tell them that I just can't do anything like that without consulting my partner, sorry pal. They give it one last try: the more compassionate of the two (the good cop?) tells me that they'll come back in 15 days and I'd better have all my worker's papers in order by then, and so for now, no fine yet. I thank him sincerely and start escorting them out. The "good cop" stares at me, disgusted, and says "what, not even money for lunch?" like I'm some ungrateful bitch who won't pay back a favor. I repeat the phrase about needing to talk with my partner before taking any important business decision regarding our money, and escort them out.


I really wanted to vomit after this happened. I've seen corruption here before, but I've never faced it alone like this. Me alone with two uniformed men trying to swindle me, at the risk of great penalty to my business. FUUUUUCK THAAAAAAAAT. I guess I played it right since I got them to postpone judgment day and I didn't give them a single penny -- and I think it worked to my advantage that I was foreign. Honestly, I would rather sell all my belongings and pay a lawful fine (granted the fine wasn't THAT bad) than give even one coin to these motherfuckers who think that just because they have a uniform, they have the right to take advantage of what little power they have. I am likely to give whatever I have in my pockets to people who seem needy or hard working or talented or kind or even just honest. Tell me you need to take a bus and lost your wallet, whatever. but I will NOT hand over anything to someone who tries to intimidate me into it. i was shaking in my boots imagining our place being closed. but geeze louise, I would not bribe those bastards.


I noted afterwards that the guys didn't take my information, nor did they leave any paperwork behind. Were they for real? They seemed it. but maybe they were just really well-prepared thieves. and yet what is really the difference between "true" government officials who take advantage of their position, and clever thieves who don a uniform and try to scare people into giving them money? at least I would give the thieves brownie points for cleverness and effort.


Final thought: there are many people who come visit Peru (and tons of native Peruvians) who think it's pretty convenient that if they just bribe an official, they can get out from underneath the often stupid and twisted rules set up by a dysfunctional bureaucracy. I can understand that to a certain extent. the rules ARE often ridiculous and most officials are too dumb or badly trained or lazy to guide you through it legally. ... probably because they all expect bribes.

next week i will begin my first post-grad study! a one-year diplomado (certificate) in "innovación y gestión del turismo" (tourism innovation and management) that miiiiiiiiight just allow me to join my previous anthropological background with the current coffee theme. plots are afoot. we shall see how it goes. truth be told, i'm nervous to finally put my spanish to the academic test, after years of almost entirely speaking/listening in spanish as opposed to reading/writing. but i'm very excited to get back into an academic routine. one year is manageable, far less daunting than, say, a phD. the university is a small jesuit one, very well-reputed. after this year, my academic background will include: über-jewish hebrew school, hippie school, big urban public school, small private liberal arts college, and peruvian jesuit college. interesting.

the shop is 10 months old already and we're just completing constructing some extra rooms on the back -- a new patio space with room for two tables, a special roasting room (which will soon house our new bigger coffee roaster) and a small kitchen area where I now have an assistant helping me with the baking. whew! "reinvestment" = pulling money out of our asses, but now we'll have the means to recuperate more quickly and save up some, if all goes well. knock on wood!

it's hot as balls here. there's no other way to put it. bleh. and the humidity only gets worse in wintertime! i do like how jasmines bloom here during summertime, I catch whiffs of it while walking around the streets. jasmine and (sometimes quite strong) ocean smell, with the inevitable tinge of car exhaust and dust.

i've been cooking almost daily, now that i'm not baking constantly at home. recent culinary endeavours: mushroom risotto, papa rellena (imagine something that looks like a russet potato, that is actually constructed of mashed potato, with a delicious meaty filling), eggplant parmigiana with homemade tomato sauce, leek-mushroom quiche. despite cooking traditional peruvian meaty meals, I am maintaining a largely vegetarian diet for myself, which feels right.

shortly I will really have no spare time -- aside from the business and baking supervising, I will be immersed in studying (while David will also be teaching classes at another university). still, I daydream quite often about all the things I'd like to be knitting (SO MANY THINGS!!!!!). I just don't feel right unless I have some work in progress! also, I really haven't devoted ANY time to spinning yarn in months and months, which is a real shame. Maybe as the weather gets cooler in the next few months and I settle into the new routine, I can carve out some time for that too. I'm ready for cool temperatures, for sweaters and layers, for some good hunkering down.

honestly, at this rate, I'm likely going to stay in peru for a few more years. I really like it here! i love our community, and how well david and I work together within it. i adore my dance class and I love the food. I long to go back to cusco someday. the only thing I'm lacking is a quick train or portal to NY from here, so I can visit more easily, which just isn't possible. :( I know that even if i moved back to NY, although I would be closer to my parents and friends from the states, I would be missing my life and loved ones here. I'm resigning myself to the fact that for the rest of my life, I will never have everyone I love within reach at the same time. That ship has long, long since sailed. i'm just grateful that with technology advancing as it is, i can stay more easily in close contact with folks who are far away.

bizarre dream:
i was walking with my brother and turned to him and casually commented "so, I guess our parents have no money anymore" and then immediately noticed something in my mouth. I spit it out: a piece of my lower tooth!! horrified, I started touching my teeth and felt that they were all loosened and falling out. soon all my lower front teeth were gone. no blood, no pain, it was just like my gums had lost the will to hold my teeth. in the dream, I was positively horrified by what was going on. i woke up quickly enough but still feel oogy about it.

soooo apparently this is one of the most common nightmares. strange, huh? according to some trashy dream-interpretation websites, it could represent fear of embarrassment, anxiety about growing up (losing your baby teeth all over again), fear of getting old (losing your teeth as in old age), anxiety about being powerless (unable to bite), etc. hmmm.

i remember when i was little i would dream that my eyes were crossed and were completely stuck that way, and i couldn't see anything properly because my eyes were crossed, and i would freak out. similar? i dunno.

Wow, it HAS been a while since i updated this thing.

Lesseee.. Christmas was nice, here with the family. New years was even nicer, since we went up north to our favorite beach, Punta Sal, which was more crowded than usual but still extremely restful and lovely. Wonderful food, fun friends, perfect weather. I think I could handle any of life's problems or disasters with a healthy philosophy if only I could always lie in a hammock at sunset, staring at the birds flying overhead, listening to the shwwwsshhhhhwwwwwwwhhsshhhhwwwwwwhhh of the ocean. (My beach reading was "Pathologies of Power" by Dr. Paul Farmer, about Haiti, Russian prisons, Chiapas, medically preventable epidemics, liberation theology and structural violence against the poor. Nighttime viewing: a history channel special on Nostradamus and how the world's heading towards its dark end. Thinking about Gaza and how deeply i do NOT approve of israel's actions. All of that is disturbing food for thought, certainly. but lying in a hammock, everything felt just right. the world could end tomorrow in a fiery hell and I would feel glad for having had the chance to lie in a hammock at the ocean and watch the sun set on one new year's day.)

Skin report: thanks to SPF 70, I didn't burn in the hot near-equatorial sun! I also apparently didn't change color at all in the three days I was lying in the sun, as all my Peruvian friends are so quick to point out, as if I am a weird freak of nature that doesn't tan. (maybe it's the contrast with David who turns deep beautiful bronze in an instant and uses tanning oil without problem) Oh, well. I think bronze skin is beautiful but it's just not for me. As marissa says, we've got to embrace our pallor. And given my dad's recent bout with melanoma, I think this is just fine.

New Year! Holy Smokes! We're full steam ahead plotting our expansion/kitchen construction. Gulp. Hope we can afford it. We'll get estimates from the architect(s) within the week.

While I hear reports of nonstop winter weather events in the great Northeast, here in Lima it's hot and sunny. Which makes me one sweaty cranky Hannah when I have to be tending to a hot oven half the day every day. There's no such thing as air conditioning in most places here, for the record. And that's fine, I don't miss the sensation of fake cold air. but I do sweat a lot lately. bleh.

Plane tickets to the states are super cheap right now! I'm coming in February for a 10 day visit, in order to attend my cousin Jeff's wedding and then hang around for another week and take care of doctor's appointments and whatnot. It'll be great to be back, albeit briefly.

To-do (today): Apple pies (2), brownies, muffins (two types), caigua rellena (a Peruvian stuffed vegetable recipe that is wonderful), and possibly carrot cakes (2). Clean a buttload of dishes several times during the day, shower at the end, head to the shop for the rest of the night.

Ok that's all.

i don't use my real paper journal much anymore -- mostly when i'm on trips and stuck on a plane or in a bus station for a while and take advantage of the opportunity to write, or when i'm feeling crappy and lonely and confused and need to purge some negative thoughts. Since i haven't traveled as much in the past year, mostly my journal is filled with those negative thoughts that i purge from time to time, those stupid useless self-doubts that i don't think deserve public attention. and the flip side is that i don't write much about the good stuff, since i already write that to friends and family, i don't feel like writing it a third time for myself. why should i? i already know all that. it's the negative crap that needs an outlet where no one will take it too seriously. if i just write it down on paper, i can forget about it until i feel like thinking about it again, at which point i can look back at it and either say to myself "geeze, that was absurd, why did i let that get to me?" or "wow i was so astute" and move on. I KNOW i need to take all these thoughts with a giant grain of salt. and so i write them first for myself. if it's just a passing mood that makes me see everything negatively, i'll feel better almost as soon as i finish writing it down, and i'll be so relieved that no one else was witness to it. i'm glad to have that outlet. but i dislike thinking that my paper legacy is filled with the stuff i least want to recall and lend credence to. i want to make more of an effort to write not just when i need an outlet, but also when things are good, great, fine, normal.

i'm already 23. how about that!
my birthday weekend was wonderful. my parents came for a brief but very lovely visit, and finally got to get to know their "grand-shop." short but so sweet!
things accomplished in the past year: opening and sustaining the coffeeshop, finally mastering Spanish once and for all, learning to be more independent and confident in a foreign city that feels more and more like home, and learning to work HARD, without fail, day in and day out, efficiently and productively, both with a partner, as part of a team, and on my own (we have taken just ONE day off in the past 6 months since we opened the shop! and that was my birthday!). aaaand, being financially self-sufficient for the first time (while also paying salaries for a growing number of employees!).
This year I also started my drawn-out love affair with Tolstoy, knit my first lace sweater, and taught myself the basics of spinning yarn, something i'd been longing to do for years. I have been enjoying baking and cooking more and more, and would love to keep pursuing that in the future, beyond what i'm doing now.
i think my biggest accomplishment in the past year was tackling some of my personal demons -- getting past the roadblock of Senioritis that had paralyzed me with fear and doubts, and learning to be here in my life "with both feet." i don't know where life will take us, or where i might have gone had I chosen to stay in the States. all I know is we've got lots of options, and all the time in the world to make our way.
(And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions.)
For now, we are here, we are in the moment, we are constantly creating, together, pushing each other further and further, constantly meeting sincere, warm, fascinating people along the way, and I honestly couldn't ask for anything more than that.
for this next year, i hope i can keep pushing myself to do more, to even start writing again, dip my toe back into academia. i want do a better job of keeping in touch with loved ones who are far away. I want to keep taking dance classes, and more of them. I want to keep knitting and spinning. I hope that this next year, i will have my new kitchen with a kitchen staff, rather than doing it all by myself at home. I hope to stay humble but not lose confidence, and keep striving to be better in everything i do.
and i think i need a haircut soon. summer's near.
and that is all for now.
-------------------- written on my birthday, 2008.

now, 3 weeks later:
one more thing i wanted to write down: that it is such a relief to meet people here. i am always astounded by how warm most people are here, and my own sense of astonishment reminds me of just how chilly the social waters could be in high school days or at vassar, where people were mostly too busy with their own friends to notice anyone new, or else too reserved or shy or lazy to bother making contact. that's how i felt, anyways -- how many times i wished i could have become friends with someone who seemed interesting, and it always seemed too late somehow, despite having so much obviously in common. i made new friends from time to time, sure, but there seemed to be a whole sea of groups that i just couldn't break into. I mostly just stuck with mine, they mostly just stuck with theirs, and only started to mingle at the very end, it seemed. here at the shop, everyone is equally fair game for conversation, and i like that sensation. always a new story, a new friendly face, a new friend, and more and more old friends as time goes on.

Time is just flying by! Last week the coffeeshop turned 5 months old, a few days before David and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary. 3 years. Dang. It's hard to believe how much we've been through in those three years. I was 19 when we met, and i'm about to turn 23 in a week and a half. I feel so lucky and grateful to be with him, and content with the life we are building together. We've been through heaven and hell together and I feel like we've landed on sweet earth.

Things are the shop are good! I'm getting my baking down to more of a science lately, since we finally purchased a big freezer so I can actually bake AHEAD instead of always baking for the same day. We've also hired some more wait staff, so I get a bit of a break from my double life of baking and waitressing -- er, that is, now I'm baking and managing and waitressing occasionally. We're carefully planning out some expansion plans which will include a larger coffee roaster, as well as constructing a kitchen in the back and adding a bit more space for tables. We're trying hard to plan an expansion in quality, not variety of service. as in, we're not going to jump into becoming a restaurant or anything, but we'll just try to have a more steady supply of the same stuff, since we're doing well with what we've got already.

Hey, my parents are arriving in just a week!!! Wooooo!!!!! I can't wait to finally show them the shop and to hang out with them a bit. I have been having some homesick moments lately. I can't say that I miss living in Albany full-time, but I do wish I could zip back for a weekend visit from time to time, like I did when I was in college. Why can't Lima be just an hour's drive from New York? sigh. Mostly I miss people and smells. Friends, family, the smell of heavy rain. And you know, sometimes I really miss NYC. Something about that place got under my skin during my last summer in the states.

Something I've been meaning to write about for a while: AIR. people are so sensitive to air here. the weather is coastal, generally very humid and temperate, no huge temperature changes -- it gets as low as probably the high 40's in wintertime, and as hot as the 80's and 90's in summertime, but it never freezes, and hardly ever rains. Most houses have no heating or AC, since it's generally a somewhat comfortable temperature. Many houses also have open patio areas in the middle of everything, since it rarely rains. But damn, people are scared of air, of catching drafts. If you're standing in a doorway and feel a draft coming in, you'll probably catch a cold. If you sleep with a fan on, you're likely to wake up with bronchitis. If it's a particularly windy day, people start whispering that they hope there's not another earthquake, since wind sometimes precedes earthquakes. Tito told me that he knew a woman whose lungs exploded when a particularly strong air touched her while she was washing dishes. And one of my taxi drivers was complaining about an unusual neck pain, and explained it in terms of air, that "me daba un aire en el cuello" -- he caught a draft in his neck! People also usually have a strong aversion to air conditioning, since it only serves to create significant temperature changes that are bound to make you very ill. Interesting. I think about how we live in NY for example -- in the wintertime, it's beyond freezing everywhere and hot as balls inside any car or building with heat, which is most of them (public ones, anyways). And in the summertime, you absolutely melt outside, and then sigh with relief when you enter a car with AC or the freezer section of a grocery store. We constantly play with temperature changes and that's how we survive the seasons without getting too grouchy. So what's the deal here in Lima? Just a different air. WAAAY humid. when things are always a little damp, the air has a stronger effect. and maybe the ocean air is more powerful, I dunno. Here, if you're chilly, you simply bundle up, no thermostat to adjust. If you're too hot, go to the beach, have some ice cream, and that's that.

more and more often, customers assume i'm french, and are surprised when i tell them i'm from the states.
.. me?? french? hah! sure, it's in my blood, along with at least 8 other european countries. so, out of vain curiosity, i try to pick their brain about their assumptions without being too pushy. some say it's because i don't have the typical american accent (meaning, i CAN roll my R's) and others go so far as to say that I don't seem american because i'm not loud and obnoxious. on a related note, i've received many a compliment on how multitalented I am for an american.
david suggests that people ask if i'm french because it covers all the bases -- if they're right, then good for them. if they're wrong, then i'll probably take it as a compliment. since if i were actually french and they asked me "are you american?" it would likely be taken as an insult. (the dormant anthropologist in me stirs and goes "hmmmmm.." and then rolls over and goes back to sleep.)
the truth is, I DO take it as a compliment when people assume i'm french. it tickles me when people have trouble guessing where i'm from. i like not being marked by any particular nationality until i have to actually answer the direct question of where i'm from. at which point they go "OHHH NEW YORK!" and seem to mark me in their brains as a cosmopolitan city girl. which, if you've ever been to Albany, you'll know is far from the truth.

the coffeeshop just had its 3rd month anniversary, the day before david and i celebrated our first year's anniversary of moving to lima together. i've been living here a whole year already!

businesswise, things are going pretty well overall. we've got two new workers (Hans and Fiorella) which will allow us to maintain longer hours. it remains cute and cozy and we keep thinking of new ways to rearrange things or improve things somehow. hopefully we can put some of those plans into action in the near future.

on a personal note, i feel a little melancholy lately. i think the extended stress plus the bleak clammy winter are wearing on us. i have lots of friendly faces around me here, a whole community of them, but none who i would want to talk with about, say, having a case of the blues. ah well.

my national identity is getting shifty. i used to think i walked around with a flashing neon sign over my head that said "GRINGA". turns out that's not necessarily true. several people have recently mistaken me for German (including a german girl), peruvians squint at me and ask "you're not Peruvian, are you? where are you from?" and tourists assume I'm Peruvian or some other kind of spanish-speaking. ("wow, she speaks great english!" i overheard once. "thanks, it's my first language" i interjected, which startled the two british ladies.) this stuff amuses me (and probably only me!). being an "ex-pat" is an odd in-betweeny kind of state -- i'm not becoming peruvian, whatever that would mean, nor am I particularly involved in my own country, nor do i really want to be right now. i don't meet most peruvian expectations for what an American Girl should be like (totally useless and unable to speak spanish, apparently). i'm just here.

What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was getting ready to start 8th grade, which means I was probably helping with the construction of the new building for my hippy dippy middle school, doing crafts and making messes in the house, and likely obsessing over the onset of puberty. A year later, I was recuperating from my cliff accident.

What are 5 things on my list for today?
make passion fruit bars (done!), make brownies, skype with my family in Oregon (didn't work out, we talked on the phone instead), figure out lunch, and work at the shop.

What are 5 snacks I enjoy?
cream cheese with marmalade and crackers, hummus, apples with peanut butter, olives and cheese with wine, and chips & salsa. oh man, writing this made me hungry.

Things I would do if I were a billionaire?
buy a large piece of land somewhere, probably in the countryside or beach in peru. i'd expand our coffee business here, setting up different locations around peru and maybe in the states too. i'd go to europe and learn to make chocolate and cheese. oh hell, maybe i'd just fly back home to visit more often, and fly friends and family here to visit.

Places I have lived?
Albany, Poughkeepsie, Queens (NY), Cusco and Lima (Peru), Adak Island (Alaska).

Jobs I have had?
babysitter, fabric store attendant, art model (just for two days -- i didn't mind the nudity in front of my fellow students, but it was weird to model for the other classes taught by my own drawing teachers), archaeologist, research assistant, baker/waitress/entrepreneur.

3 habits?
biting my nails, twirling my hair, surfing knitting blogs on the internet

What's the latest news/goals for your business or efforts nearest and dearest to you?
well, as for business, we have a big hole in the roof of the back room that we are having repaired, the water supply keeps getting cut due to nearby construction, but we are the little coffeeshop that could, chuggachugging away! I'm becoming more creative in the kitchen, utilizing the passion fruit for the first time, and things are going pretty well all in all. as for those nearest and dearest, my parents are out visiting my nana in oregon who is coming to the end of her struggle with emphysema, lung cancer, and heart failure. she's keeping in admirably good spirits, sounds just like her same old self on the phone, and really has aged with more grace than anyone else i've ever known. The family's all there now to keep her company in the meantime, and it sounds like they are having a sweet visit. I wish I could be there, but instead I'm keeping in touch through phone and computer. She is my last living grandparent.

so much i want to write about, both here and in my actual journal. so much i want to make, to tell, to think about, to put together into some kind of essay. i'm an anthropologist, for pete's sake, and i haven't actually written a damn thing about my year in south america. i guess this is the "immersion" experience.
i feel good. i started taking modern dance classes with my lovely friend Carolina! Pachi, the teacher and famous Peruvian dancer, is a sheer delight to be around. the class is challenging, totally different from the Martha Graham stuff I did at Vassar -- I have to re-learn to roll around on the ground like a baby. i should never have stopped to begin with, but they generally make you stop rolling around on the ground when you "grow up." the exercise and the mental space it gives me is a huge relief. it had been a long time.
I am a lean mean baking machine and have hardly any time for staying in touch with friends and family, but i'm managing to balance it all for the most part. my hands are becoming scratchy, calloused, covered in burns and marks from baking/washing/serving all the time. It reminds me of when I participated in the archaeological dig on Adak Island a few summers ago and developed visible muscles in my hands and forearms.
our coffeeshop is steadily growing in popularity. tonight a group of poets has chosen our shop to host their poetry reading. should be interesting! I am surrounded by so much creativity here. for example, carolina's gorgeous handmade silver jewelry: http://www.qantu950.com/
Sergio's been around this week, which has been wonderful! he goes next to Cusco to take a job as a cello teacher. last weekend we made fettuccini from scratch, it was delicious.
I want to get spinning (yarn, that is) but have no room in my life for it at the moment. soon, I hope to make more room for that. in quiet moments I still get a chance to knit, still reading a few pages of War & Peace in the morning as soon as i open my eyes (i have a feeling that book will be my steady companion for years, at this rate!). thank goodness for the cool coziness of winter. in summertime i will be very unhappy to be baking all day here.
every sunday we take the day off, read the paper, complain that the world is going to hell in a handbasket and plot to buy some land in Ollantaytambo (near cusco, in the gorgeous Sacred Valley) and live in our neo-hippie haven. speaking of cusco: El Ayllu, an old landmark of a café in the Plaza de Armas (where David and I shared our first coffee, as a matter of fact) is being kicked out to be replaced by STARBUCKS. we want to go throw stones at the bastard who decided that was a good idea. like starbucks really needs one more franchise. in the fucking plaza de armas of historic cusco where they have even resisted putting a mcdonalds. hell in a handbasket indeed!
brownies need to come out of the oven. that's all for now folks!

Our Arábica espresso bar has been open for nearly 2 weeks now. It is a Lot. Of. Work. Every morning David goes to the shop at the crack of dawn to open for the early morning customers (we might eventually rearrange those hours, once we've gotten a sense of when are the best times to be open). I bake for hours and hours while David and Robertito man the shop, until generally around lunchtime. We break for lunch. Then from 5 until 10 or 11, we're open again, and I'm waitressing. I knit in the quiet moments, if there are any. We work until closing. we spend at least an hour cleaning up, doing the accounting, organizing, etc. We get home around 11:30 at earliest. I might have to then start preparing the muffins for the next few days. David goes to bed. If I don't have to make muffins, I might read a chapter of War & Peace before I fall asleep. We've decided to take Sundays off so we can catch up on sleep, grocery shopping, errands, etc. David's dropped 4 kilos in the past week, I've dropped at least 1. Life feels full.
We already have some regular customers, and sometimes business is incredibly slow, and sometimes we're completely full and busy, and mostly it's a pleasant rhythm. I LOVE making things, I like being so productive. I love that I get to spend the quiet moments knitting or reading. My carrot cake, chocolate mousse pie, banana cream pie, and brownies are particularly popular, and our espresso blend seems to satisfy even the neighborhood's Italian residents. Everyone who passes by (since we haven't yet gotten a sign to hang in front) cranes their necks to see in, and we hear the passing commentary "O que bonito sitio! que lindo!" ("oh what a beautiful place! so cute!"). People who actually walk in are quickly drawn towards the back to check out our bookshelf and art gallery. 90% of our feedback has been really positive, with a few good bits of important constructive criticism thrown in there. So far, so good.
I really like living in South America the more I live here. Coming back after visiting the states felt almost as much like coming home as it did to step back into my house in Albany. That feeling is reinforced when I get to know other Americans who also live here, such as a few of our regular customers, and my dear friend Vaughn who just came to visit (he's been spending the year in Ecuador). He and I, after generalizing for a bit about our experiences here, agree that we really are looking forward to staying for a while. I just wish they would invent a portal so I could visit my friends and family back in the States with greater ease.

it's hard to explain the joy I take in autumn. I think it started when I was a kid, because since my birthday was in October, I naturally looked forward to autumn all year long. Autumn also meant the gorgeous leaf display of the great northeast, immediately followed by huge piles of deliciously crunchy leaves to play in. Autumn also meant the new academic year, which to me was always exciting. I always loved delving into new classes, using fresh notebooks and pens. Autumn meant "time to hunker down and get productive."
Now, here I am in Lima, 22 years old. My birthday is still half a year away, and there are no new classes starting anytime in the foreseeable future. The trees aren't going to change color and drop their leaves which would be raked into magnificent piles. And yet just noting the chill in the air is enough to fill me with a huge sense of relief and joy. I love the brisk air, it makes me feel more alive. I love sweaters, I love sleeping under lots of blankets, and I love how satisfying it is to drink a hot cup of tea when it's chilly out. Time to hunker down and get productive, yes indeed. Well, once I get back from the states, that is. I'll be there in just four days.

fall, or this coastal version of it, is sneaking in. I feel a chill in the air during nights and early mornings, and I relish it with delight. i've missed my sweaters. knitting and baking and spending every day working in our coffeeshop will be SO much more pleasurable when it's not boiling hot every day. usually i look forward to this change in weather when september, october roll around, but this time I'm getting it early. I think I'll never get used to these seasons, but I appreciate them.

next week I'll get a faceful of spring when I return to the good ol' USA for the first time in 8 months! it's by far the longest I've been away, and it's the first time I'm just going there for a quick visit until I get back to my normal life in Peru. A week from tomorrow, David and I will be heading straight to San Diego for my cousin's wedding. The following two weeks will be spent mostly in Albany for Passover festivities, with visits to NYC and Burlington VT. Dang.

Our little business is fiiiiiinally through most of the bureaucratic hurdles, we passed our inspection with flying colors, and we should be [legally] able to open about 2 days before we leave for the states. Woo hoo! we're on our way!

I am fascinated by the world of blogs, especially those that belong to knitters and bakers. There are so many amazingly talented, creative people out there, and I'm so glad to be able to share in their creations via internet. very inspiring.

there are so many things i want to write about.

http://lahabitaciondehenryspencer.com

watch a video interview with david, me and vania in our coffeeshop!!! be forewarned, it's entirely in spanish. but if you can understand it, you'll learn a lot about coffee. and if not, well, you'll get to see us, our place and how it's shaping up. we're nearly there now!

so many memories drifting through my mind. i miss camping -- the smell of damp oak, maple, pine, leaves on the ground, smoke from campfire. the sound of crickets, owls, frogs. i miss sitting in a warm, cozy living room with heat croaking out from an old radiator, snow falling silently around. i really miss smoking pot and drawing with close friends. i miss sushi, i miss hummus. i miss the feeling of peeling off layers of cold wet clothes, shaking of snow when you walk in the door, face aching from the cold outside. i miss anthropology classes, art classes, modern dance classes. i miss a good sub sandwich with potato chips. i miss being with a group of peers from the united states and sharing slang, expressions, and so many references without batting an eye. i miss a good pickle, spicy mustard, long walks. i miss diners and their reliably mediocre and comforting menus.
not to say i'm not grateful for my increasing sense of home here in lima with the constant smell of the ocean, the dusty but intense and surprising sense of color, sipping tea and munching freshly baked bread in the evening, the wonderful people all around, having a partner and our own place that we created together that is just on the verge of being born, the more relaxed sense of time and trajectory.
but there are so many things that really catch me off guard when i realize for how long i've been missing them already.